Funny Quotes from Thorne Smith

This page will contain as many funny quotes from Thorne Smith as I can find in his novels, short stories, editorials and interviews.

While Thorne Smith didn't do many interviews, there are several humorous anecdotes and stories that have been captured for posterity.

Also, within his novels and stories, Thorne Smith often had his characters engaged in screwball conversations. What's really great about this is that it didn't matter whether it was a main character such as Cosmo Topper or minor characters who were passing through the story on their way to other ribald adventures.

To give you a quick sense of what I'm referring to, let's take a look at a passage from Chapter VII "Exit on Hook and Ladder" in the novel THE GLORIOUS POOL, for one of my all-time favorite exchanges between two minor characters in the story.

Two pyromaniac-minded neighbors are having a discussion after one has set the other's house on fire.

"This is your house, Charlie, and I set fire to it. How am I ever going to make it up to you? Shall I set mine on fire, Charlie?"

"No," replied Charlie generously. "Don't do anything rash. Let me set it on fire for you."

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